This last week has been an emotional roller coaster. I don’t mean this negative, even though there are some sad memories attached to my journey. It is just very exhausting to be confronted with my past nearly thirty years.
To travel to Switzerland every two years is always very emotionally draining to me. Even though we have a great time here we first go into culture shock, then into being confronted with an old life that we left behind, even though it seems to still be here. Then usually the sadness sets in. A feeling of loss. Then I start to evaluate my life. I ask myself if it is time to come back and settle into a "normal" swiss life where nothing seems to change. After all this we leave for Asia for another two years.
Last week was special. I was at my brothers Birthday party and we watched pictures from the time I was in my teens. It was all about the YMCA boyscout where I became a Christian and which was my community or church till I was twenty. We had a good laugh and I felt connected again to many people I haven’t seen for a long time. I dived into nostalgia for a moment.
The day before we went to go through our "stuff" we stored when we left over nine years ago. We threw away alot to make space. We reduced our "stuff" to 50 %. I couldn’t believe the things we kept. This was before we had a computer and so we stored a vast amount of papers. At the end I held a big box with all the exam papers and study books from my theology studies in my hands and said: "this is ten years of my life". I got rid of this as well. It felt good to clean up. In the evening we were emotionally exhausted. I felt alot of sadness. It was another big chapter of my life that passed through my hands.
On Sunday I went to the Vineyard church. After being away for more then nine years away from Berne I realized that I moved on and changed. I am a visitor in a church where I invested ten years of my life and where I learned alot of things that helped me on my way and at the same time brought alot of pain to my life (perhaps I will write about this another time). It is always very precious to meet people I haven’t seen for a long time. After the service we sat around for two hours chatting. It was very nice. Relationships are a very precious thing.
So to recover from the emotional ups and downs I will go down to the river Aare reviving my soul by jogging my heart out while listening to the lamenting music of "the black Peppercorns".